Alright, let’s talk about Mental Load. You know that constant buzzing in your head—the one screaming about bills, deadlines, and whether the dog’s been fed, all while you’re trying to remember if you texted your friend back? Yeah, that’s it. It’s the invisible crap that’s weighing you down, and I’m here to break it the F open—what it is, how it screws with your head and heart, where it shows up, and how to kick it to the curb.

Mental Load is the non-stop brain marathon of planning, remembering, and worrying about every damn thing that keeps life from imploding. It’s not just doing the dishes—it’s knowing they need doing, it’s knowing that if you don’t do it, no one else will. It’s the mental Post-it notes you can’t peel off: “Buy toilet paper,” “Book the dentist,” “Don’t forget So and So’s birthday.” It’s like being the CEO of your own chaotic universe, except no one’s paying you, and half the staff (aka everyone else) doesn’t even clock in.

I’ve seen this shit in my own life—running around like a headless chook, juggling a million things while everyone else just cruises. Sound familiar? It’s not just a “you” problem either—tons of us (especially women, let’s be real) get stuck carrying this load solo, and it’s exhausting as hell.

This isn’t some cute little stress hiccup. Mental load can mess you up proper. Here’s the damage it does:

Exhaustion: You’re pouring from an empty bucket. Always thinking, always planning—there’s nothing left for you. You’re knackered, and your soul’s running on fumes. And your adrenals are about to burn out

Anxiety: That constant “what’s next?” hum in your brain? It’s a one-way ticket to overwhelm city. You’re wired, waiting for the next ball to drop.

Resentment: When you’re the only one noticing the chaos, when you’re the only one who is doing what needs to be done, you start murderously side-eyeing everyone else. Why don’t they see it? Why am I the only one giving who gives a fuck? Cue the slow burn of “fuck this shit.”

Shouldas: Then there’s all “shoulds”, “have tos” and “musts” that are piling on like a ton of bricks. It’s a never-ending list of guilt trips and obligations that scream you’re not doing enough. These bastards crank up the pressure, making you feel like you’re failing at life if you don’t tick every box, leaving you stressed out, frustrated, ashamed, and ready to snap.

Brain Fog: Try focusing on a conversation or a work task when your head’s screaming about groceries and that overdue email. Good luck—you’re toast.

Numbness: Over time, you just check out. Emotions? What emotions? You’re too busy keeping the world spinning to feel anything.

This bastard sneaks into every corner of your life. Here’s where I’ve clocked it:

At Work
The Scene: You’re not just smashing your own deadlines—you’re the one reminding Dave about the meeting, tracking the team’s progress, and stressing about that presentation no one else prepped for.
The Load: It’s the “if I don’t do it, it won’t get done” vibe. You’re the glue, but no one’s clapping.

At Home
The Scene: You’re the one who knows the pantry’s bare, there’s only a drop of milk left in the fridge, the kids / partner are asking what’s for dinner, no one has cleaned up after themselves, and you have to buy such and such’s birthday present. Meanwhile, everyone else is chilling like it’s magic.
The Load: That nagging “I’ve got to sort this” voice that never shuts up. You’re the household psychic, and it sucks.

In Relationships
The Scene: You’re planning nights out, remembering your anniversary, your in-law’s birthdays, arranging catchups with friends and texting your mum to check in—while your partner’s like, “Oh, was that today?”
The Load: Keeping every connection alive single-handedly. It’s sweet until you realise you’re the only one rowing the boat.

You don’t have to live like this. Here’s how to claw your way out:

Hand It Over – Stop being the martyr. Tell your partner, your kids, your coworkers “You’re taking this.” Not just the task—the thinking too. “Plan dinner” beats “cook dinner” any day.

Dump It Out – Get that chaos out of your head. Scribble it in a journal, chuck it in your phone—whatever works. The great thing about today’s technology is that “there is an App for that”. Some people love to have a calendar in the kitchen

Say NO – You’re not everyone’s lapdog. “Can you do this?” Nope, not today – sorry (not sorry). Boundaries, people—set ‘em and stick to ‘em.

Automate the Boring Shit – Bills on auto-pay, groceries delivered—cut the crap you don’t need to track. Less noise, more peace.

Ask for Help (Properly) – Don’t hint spell it out sister. “I need you to sort the kids’ lunches this week.” “I need you to do [insert task here] at work”. Vague doesn’t work with the oblivious.

Cut Yourself Some Slack – You’re not Superhuman. Fuck perfection. Let the house be messy for a day—your soul’s worth it.

Check In with yourself – Pause. Breathe. Ask yourself, “Am I carrying too much?” If yes, ditch something. I learned this the hard way over-working isn’t a badge of honour. It just makes you a slave

Make time for you – Carve out a hot minute (or hour or hours) for yourself. Book that yoga class, take a walk, or get a facial / massage to replace the mental load with some serious serenity instead. Just step away from the chaos and breathe, because you’re not a damn robot.

Mental load’s a sneaky fucker—it’ll grind you down while everyone else coasts by, oblivious. But here’s the kicker: you don’t have to carry it all. Call it out, share it, ditch it—whatever it takes to stop being the world’s unpaid manager. You’re worth more than that endless to-do list.

Ready to kick that mental chaos to the curb? Book a kinesiology session with me to untangle the overwhelm, release that mental weight, and rediscover your calm. Click here to book now and let’s kick that mental load to the curb together.

Hi, my name is Liesl Frank, and I am a Council of Light Lightworker. My mission is to help humanity evolve into its highest potential