So Trainwreck is one of the funniest movies that I have seen in a long time. On both viewings, I laughed and laughed and laughed. But I also had my healer’s lenses in, and I could see sabotaging pattern after sabotaging pattern being played out throughout the movie. From the father’s explanation of adultery, to the beliefs that Amy has about herself and relationships. Amy is a healers delight.

When we are young children, we are really impressionable to the thoughts and beliefs of our parents. I see it quite often where my clients have picked up either their father’s or mother’s beliefs around a particular issue. So when Amy’s father tries to explain to his daughters, why he and their mother are getting divorced. He uses an analogy involving dolls so they could understand. “How would you feel if you could only play with only one doll for the rest of your life?”. It is possible that Amy picked up her father’s beliefs around monogamy.

Flash forward 23 years and we see Amy having one night stands after another, after another, all while she is dating Steve. Now don’t get me wrong, one night stands can be fun. It just seems like (in the movie), that Amy is using them to avoid intimacy. And this can be a sabotaging pattern. If you are scared to let people close, scared that they might hurt you. Or worst yet, see that you are not good enough. Then it is easier to just to have fun, go out on a couple of dates and then end it before they can get to close to you. When Amy is caught out by Steve about sleeping with other guys, she tries to rationalise it by saying that he could have sex with other girls too. Isn’t that every guys dream?


Cue Aaron (our romantic lead). Even after they have sex, Amy couldn’t handle the post-sex intimacy. The snuggling / spooning afterwards made her feel uncomfortable. And she couldn’t believe that he called her the next day ‘on purpose’. The thought of liking a guy, liking him enough to want to continue seeing him, scared the shit out of her. But as she says, they fell hard for each other.


When catching up with her father, he says to Amy “He’s got about a month left before you give him the boot”. And when Amy protests angrily, he says “That’s your pattern. That’s my pattern”. As mentioned above, this is what we call a surrogating pattern. Was the reason that Amy was having continual short term relationships / one night stands because this is what she saw her father having when she was growing up? Did she grow up thinking that this was normal?

When Amy and Aaron have their first fight, at the awards event. Amy’s first reaction was “We’re fighting, I’m leaving, because this is obviously ending right now”. This could be a self defense mechanism. Ohhh this has the potential to hurt me. I don’t want to be hurt. I will leave before you have a chance to hurt me’. Amy even says to Aaron “What’s wrong with you? Why do you even like me? I’m not good enough to be in a relationship with you”. When our self-esteem and our self-worth are really low, we cannot see what the other person sees in us. We see all of our ‘supposed’ flaws as bright as day. And we cannot possibly comprehend why someone would want to be with us.

When Aaron proposes that they not see each other for two days (so he can rest up for the big surgery), Amy takes that as he is breaking up with her. Her immediate response is “I know that we’re done”. And she does the classic, ‘I’m going to really hurt you to protect myself’ play. She does this by mentioning that his article is being pulled from the magazine, because her boss thought that he was too boring.

When Amy catches up with her married pregnant sister, she comes to the realisation that her previous patterns are no longer working for her. And she tells her sister “I act, like, everything that you do is wrong. But it’s because I don’t think that I can have what you have. I’m just broken”. Which is an important realisation. There are certain points in our lives where we just have to say, ‘hey, this is no longer working for me. I need to make a change, as doing the same thing over and over again isn’t making me happy’.

So how does it end? Well Trainwreck is a Rom-Com, so that in itself answers the question. But it is one of the best, funniest rom-com’s that I have seen in a long long time.

If you find that you are repeating patterns in love and relationships that are no longer beneficial for you. Then, there is a way to break the patterns. Kinesiology can identify if you are running any sabotaging patterns in regards to love, and dissolve them.

Liesl (a Holistic Kinesiologist) is passionate about helping you to create and embrace your new life. Liesl excels at identifying and clearing any limiting beliefs or blocks stopping you from achieving the life that you want. Liesl is committed to supporting you along every part of your journey. To discover how Liesl can help you visit the what I specialise in page. If you are wondering how Kinesiology works, visit the what is Kinesiology page.

Liesl Frank Holistic Kinesiologist