What’s this? How can over giving be dangerous?

  • Isn’t giving meant to be a good thing?

  • Isn’t giving meant to the sign of a generous soul?

Yes both are true. But I am not talking about ordinary everyday “giving”. I am referring to “over giving”. And there is a huge difference energetically, even though the actual difference might be quite small.

So what constitutes over giving? It can come in many forms

  • Doing too much

  • Being too accommodating

  • Spending too much

I am going to go through each of these examples so that you can understand the pitfalls of over giving

Doing too much

(e.g. over giving of your time and effort) 

This can be such an easy trap to fall into. The trap of doing too much. And it can play out in many different scenarios

At home: Do you find that you are the one, who is always doing the grocery shopping, the cooking, the washing, the cleaning, picking up all of the messes? Sound familiar? And why? Is it easier than having to ask? Is it easier than having to listen to the grumbling and complaining? So you do it all yourself. How do you feel at the end of the week? Frustrated? Resentful? Exhausted? Can you imagine the accumulative effects of this week after week after week?

having to do all of the housework yourself

At work: Is your team short staffed? Are you bosses expecting you to do the same amount of work with less people? Do you find yourself working longer hours (even working late into the night at home to get the work done)? Is stress becoming your constant bed partner? Do you feel like you’re running on empty but you have to keep going?  

Being overworked at work

This is a scenario that is affecting a number of my clients. In one case, it has led to adrenal burn-out so severe that their Endocrinologist is recommending that they get their adrenals & pituitary gland removed.

Being too accommodating 

(e.g. over giving of yourself) 

When we become too accommodating, we are actually turning ourselves into a doormat. That other people are happy to walk all over.

Are you constantly saying yes to what other people want & no to what you want? Do you worry about everyone else’s happiness before your own? Are you always going out of your way to please people? These are all signs that you are being too accommodating.

What’s the danger to this? The danger is that you are prioritising everybody else’s needs and wants before your own. You are putting them first and yourself last? 

how do I stop people walking all over me

You are telling yourself and the world that you are not important. And this feeds on itself. It can affect your sense of self-worth, your self-esteem, your confidence, your relationships and even your health.

Spending too much

(e.g. over giving of your $$$) 

Are you always the one shouting drinks or meals? Do you spend way too much on presents?

 

So the question is: why are you always shouting, always spending too much? What is driving it? I ask, because if “a need to be liked” is the driving factor, then this is a problem. If we are over giving to be liked, then we are saying to ourselves that we have no value by just being ourselves. That people will only like us for what we can give them. So not only does it affect our wallets, but our self-worth as well. That sense of not being good enough. That sense that nobody will like me for me, I have to “do things” to be liked

giving too much

The power of putting yourself first

The power of me first

All this can change if you start putting yourself first. By making your needs and wants a priority. I know that this can be a confronting thought. For years and years, we had it drilled into us “stop being so selfish” “give that . . . to your brother / sister”. We might have even been punished for wanting to keep something for ourselves, for wanting to do something for ourselves. And that easily a negative belief pattern has been set up that putting yourself first is bad. That you have to always put other people’s needs before your own.

When you start putting yourself first, you are telling yourself “Hey, I’m important. What I want matters”. This first step can be the hardest. Many clients have burst into tears when we put these statements into circuit (e.g. “I put myself last” and the answer is always yes). And then after the correction, they feel completely different. Like it was ridiculous to ever have believed that in the first place.

  • If you are ready to stop being stressed

  • If you are ready to stop being so accommodating

  • If you are ready to stop over giving, then Kinesiology can help.

Start putting yourself first

Kinesiology, through its connection with your body, your subconscious mind, your higher self, can locate what negative programmes are running in the background. The ones that drive you to over-work, to over-give until you have nothing left. And once located, Kinesiology can eliminate these negative programmes. So that you can start putting yourself first with ease.

Liesl (a Holistic Kinesiologist) is passionate about helping you to create and embrace your new life. Liesl excels at identifying and clearing any limiting beliefs or blocks stopping you from achieving the life that you want. Liesl is committed to supporting you along every part of your journey. To discover how Liesl can help you visit the what I specialise in page. If you are wondering how Kinesiology works, visit the what is Kinesiology page.

Liesl Frank Holistic Kinesiology